6 05 2010

Happy Birthday Andrew!!!

23 02 2010

To the best brother I have ever known and the coolest kid in the world, I wish you the best birthday ever.  Much love.

Here’s A happy Bday video for you:
Vodpod videos no longer available.

And another:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Now for your gift. Since I leave for Hong Kong tomorrow I’m coming back with this outfit for you. PENIS PANTS Baby!!!

Andrew Ordinary's future Bday outfit

Conan O’Brien : Officially Someone That White People Like

22 01 2010

I simply love the website “Stuff White People Like”.  Mainly because it’s 95% spot on and 100% funny.  The newest edition to the list, entry #131, is our homeboy Conan O’Brien.

Here’s Why:
The recent news that Conan O’Brien will be replaced by Jay Leno has caused white people to erupt with rage and hostility. You might even expect them to lash out and do something about it like take to the streets or write a letter to NBC to voice their dissatisfaction with the network. But no, white people will solve this problem the way that they solved the election crisis in Iran – through Facebook and Twitter status updates. In 2009, millions of white people took 35 seconds to turn their twitter profiles green, and consequently sent a very powerful message to the leaders of Iran. Their message was that they wanted their friends to know that they would stop at nothing to ensure freedom and democracy for the Iranian people. Thanks in large part to that effort Iran is now completely democratic. With that issue settled, white people are launching a similar campaign for Conan that is sure to have similar results.

It is not hard to understand why white people love Conan O’Brien, he embodies so many of the things they already like before he even opens his mouth: Ivy League Schools, Red Hair, the Boston Red Sox, Self Deprecating Humor, The Simpsons, and Bad Memories of High School (likely, but not confirmed). Seeing him on television five nights a week is a comforting reminder of community to the white people who still have televisions.

But if your plan is to try to use Conan O’Brien as a way to get white people to become more interested you, then it is imperative that you understand a few key rules. Firstly, all white people love “the masturbating bear,” if you don’t know what this is, do not worry. Just state your love for the character, and the white person you are talking to will simply fill in the rest. Secondly, all white people believe that Andy Richter never should have left the show. And finally, you should do your best to develop a “Triumph the Insult Comic Dog” impression. All white people already have one, so you might as well try to fit in. Complete these steps and watch your friendship with white people become considerably smoother.

Now, the biggest and most important thing to remember is to never, under any circumstances bring up a Conan O’Brien sketch or joke that has taken place in the last three years. You will be met with only blank stares. For you see, while white people will fiercely support Conan O’Brien in any public forum, they always fail to support him in the only way that actually helps – by watching his show.

Note: Under no circumstances should you ever mention that you prefer Jay Leno. This might cause white people to think you have the same taste in humor as the wrong kind of white people, or worse, their parents.


Your dream wedding CAN be a reality

31 07 2009
Dream Weddings

Dream Weddings

Last year I was honoured when my bromosexual (you like how I threw that in there eh?) asked me to be in his wedding party. It wasn’t a shock or anything, I mean just check the pic above. How could anyone not want me in their wedding party? What was shocking however was his ninja wedding planner wife to be.

This little wedding wizard had the boys whipped into shape and pulled off what was not only one of the most entertaining weddings I have ever been to but also one of the most beautiful. Now I’m not just saying that because it was open bar and by the end of the night I made ‘Frank the Tank’ look sober. I mean it was genuinely breathtaking. From the colouring books for children to choreographed wedding party entrances no detail was left undone. The night was definitely one to remember.

Fast forward to year of extensive planning later and I’ve come to find that She will soon be starting her own wedding planning business. If I were getting married (and let’s be honest here I’m glad I’m not) this is the woman I would want doing all the stuff I want nothing to do with. Her bespoke weddings are definitely memorable dreams come true. She’s already been consulting on five weddings and she hasn’t even released a website yet.

As soon as I can get my hands on some additional information I will pass it along. Your welcome.