Apocalypse-Proof Bunker

16 04 2010

Want to survive the apocalypse? I don’t. I want to be the first one to go. But if you’re hellbent on crawling out of a bunker 20 years from now and trying to mate with freaky, mutant animals, have at it. Hey, it only costs $10 million to buy into the Vivos apocalyptic bunker scam. What is the Vivos apocalyptic bunker scam?

* A nationwide network of 20 secret, deep underground community shelters.
* Owners-only, long-term survival accommodations for over 3,400 people.
* Owner candidates reviewed upon a number of criteria and psychographic information.
* Multi-level shelters, each consisting of over 18,500 square feet, for 172 to 200 people.
* A spoke cluster with 10 radiating wings surrounding a 2 story central dome.
* Designed and outfitted for up to 1 year of underground survival.
* Fully furnished living quarters, with semi-private bedrooms, bathrooms, and kitchens.
* Self-sustaining facilities complete with food, fuel, water, clothing, medical & security.
* Able to withstand a 50 megaton blast within a 10 mile radius.
* Engineered to protect from a nuclear blast, solar flare, tsunami or biological attack.
* Deeded equity and willable ownership in a specific Vivos shelter.
* A DNA depository available for every living species on Earth in Vivos refrigerated vaults.
* A private venture developed by a group of entrepreneurs and corporate visionaries.
* Network completion mid-2011, providing “life assurance” for 2012 and beyond.

Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and just take my chances with the apocalypse.

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