Conan O’Brien : Officially Someone That White People Like

22 01 2010

I simply love the website “Stuff White People Like”.  Mainly because it’s 95% spot on and 100% funny.  The newest edition to the list, entry #131, is our homeboy Conan O’Brien.

Here’s Why:
The recent news that Conan O’Brien will be replaced by Jay Leno has caused white people to erupt with rage and hostility. You might even expect them to lash out and do something about it like take to the streets or write a letter to NBC to voice their dissatisfaction with the network. But no, white people will solve this problem the way that they solved the election crisis in Iran – through Facebook and Twitter status updates. In 2009, millions of white people took 35 seconds to turn their twitter profiles green, and consequently sent a very powerful message to the leaders of Iran. Their message was that they wanted their friends to know that they would stop at nothing to ensure freedom and democracy for the Iranian people. Thanks in large part to that effort Iran is now completely democratic. With that issue settled, white people are launching a similar campaign for Conan that is sure to have similar results.

It is not hard to understand why white people love Conan O’Brien, he embodies so many of the things they already like before he even opens his mouth: Ivy League Schools, Red Hair, the Boston Red Sox, Self Deprecating Humor, The Simpsons, and Bad Memories of High School (likely, but not confirmed). Seeing him on television five nights a week is a comforting reminder of community to the white people who still have televisions.

But if your plan is to try to use Conan O’Brien as a way to get white people to become more interested you, then it is imperative that you understand a few key rules. Firstly, all white people love “the masturbating bear,” if you don’t know what this is, do not worry. Just state your love for the character, and the white person you are talking to will simply fill in the rest. Secondly, all white people believe that Andy Richter never should have left the show. And finally, you should do your best to develop a “Triumph the Insult Comic Dog” impression. All white people already have one, so you might as well try to fit in. Complete these steps and watch your friendship with white people become considerably smoother.

Now, the biggest and most important thing to remember is to never, under any circumstances bring up a Conan O’Brien sketch or joke that has taken place in the last three years. You will be met with only blank stares. For you see, while white people will fiercely support Conan O’Brien in any public forum, they always fail to support him in the only way that actually helps – by watching his show.

Note: Under no circumstances should you ever mention that you prefer Jay Leno. This might cause white people to think you have the same taste in humor as the wrong kind of white people, or worse, their parents.


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Memories

22 01 2010

Tonight will be the last episode of “The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” so please tune in. Now this isn’t a goodbye since I’m sure Conan will deal with Fox and be back on the air next week so this is just a “Watch you later”
Let’s take a little trip down memories lane with some photo’s of my Hero, Conan O’Brien… with a cool little tune, We are going to be friends by The White Strips





Pee Wee Herman “Helps People Understand” On Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien

22 01 2010

The other day my brother posted an asian cartoon explanation, now comes the children’s explanation courtesy of Pee Wee Herman. I love it. A perfect explanation and one bruised Peacock.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

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Emmanuelle Chirqui : 2010’s #1 Most Desirable Women

22 01 2010

According to askmen.com my honey, Emmanuelle Chirqui is the #1  most desirable woman of 2010.  I could have told you that but just in case you didn’t believe me I now have evidence.  Here’s what askmen.com had to say about why she was chosen:

“Entourage’s Sloan McQuewick, played by Canadian actress Emmanuelle Chriqui, might just be the perfect girlfriend, and that’s not just because she’s ridiculously rich, beautiful and not opposed to the odd threesome. Sloan, who has been on-again, off-again with Eric (Kevin Connolly) since Season 2 until finally accepting his proposal at the end of the latest season of the HBO dramedy, is the epitome of a dream girl: she’s a down-to-earth, funny and nag-free girlfriend who lacks the kind of shallowness that normally steers other gorgeous women away from average-looking guys like Eric.

What makes Sloan such a believable character is that Emmanuelle Chriqui, the actress, has taken the professional high road by not letting her personal life overshadow the characters she embodies. Whereas it’s impossible to watch a movie or TV show starring Lindsay Lohan without being reminded of the actress’ latest tabloid-worthy antics, Chriqui is scandal-free.

Emmanuelle Chriqui is the No. 1 Most Desirable Woman of 2010 precisely because we don’t know her, which is a rarity in the paparazzi-infested 21st century. Chriqui is reminiscent of Old Hollywood glamour in the sense that the only glimpses we see of her personal life exist on red carpets. Her work on Entourage allows us to believe that there are many Sloans out there in our regular-people world, and that we are all just as deserving as Eric of a beautiful, funny and easygoing woman on our arm. And while Sloan might be attainable to the Everyman, Emmanuelle is not. For the sake of Old Hollywood’s otherworldliness and the dreams it used to inspire, that’s a price we’re willing to pay.” — askmen.com

Emmanuelle Chirqui

This drop dead gorgeous Canadian had these words in regards to taking the top spot:

“Hearing what that vote is made of is the biggest compliment of all because it’s not just about being “hot” but about being a well-rounded woman. That’s really empowering — people recognize that I care about other things.” — Emmanuelle Chirqui

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Chris Brown Beats up Jean Paul Gaultier!!!

22 01 2010

Just kidding.  This is a pic taken from Jean Paul Gaultier’s recent fashion show.  I don’t get the whole beaten up thing.  I’m just not that artsy.  I can see how artsy people would eat that shit up though.  I can just hear them now “oh it’s like the clothes are beating up the personality of the person who wears them”.  So deep.  Artsy people are bloody messed up.  That’s why we love them.  Keep on Keepin’ on, Jean Paul.

Open Note to Chris Brown: This pic was a bad idea.  It took everything in me to keep from filling up two pages worth of comments on this pic.

Jean Paul Gaultier & Chris Brown

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Buffalo Stance

22 01 2010

Oh Yeah!  Today’s way back play back is Buffalo Stance by Neneh Cherry.  Enjoy.





Horchata

22 01 2010

Today’s song of the day is Horchata by Vampire Weekend.  At first I really hated this tune.  It kinda sounds like the Beach Boys tried to recapture their youth by dropping acid and writing a song.  It grew on me though.   It’s a good ‘wishing for summer sun’ in the winter tune.  Does that make sense?  Probably not.  But neither does this song. Just try it.

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