Penny for your thoughts

18 07 2007

so, today I was a little pissed. I came into work at about 6:20am as I usually do at the begining of the week like an eager beaver. By 8:30 I was starving. I saw a co-worker eating an egg sandwich which looked delicious. it was one of those HUGE sandwiches you pick up a golden little mom and pop shop you know? The kind where they don’t stinge on the toppings and everything is mad fresh. I asked him where he picked up the breakfast and he said he got it this deli in Commerce Court. He said they’re usually well priced and he’s a fan of almost all their breakfast items. I decided that I too would venture through the morning rush in the underground and pick myself up one of those sandwiches.

On my way over there I begun to get really happy and giddy. You know how you usually get right at that point when you’re starving and you know that goodness is on it’s way. I arrived at Heidi’s Deli to the very pleasant smile of the black woman behind the counter. “May I help you” she asks quietly. “yes” i respond “I would like an egg sandwich please with lettuce, a little bit of salt and pepper please……oh, and if you have hot sauce, just a little of that too.” She politely says “No, we only have Tabasco sauce…it’s not as good.” right as my polite server finishes her sentence my wonderful morning is brought to a screeching halt by very loud abrupt asian woman who judging by her accent was Chinese. “Come pay” she orders me. I walk over to the cash still a little happy that I’m about to get my tasty goodness, when she says “Fo oh two”…hmmm…. that was a little more costly than I thought it was going to be, but no biggie, you get what you pay for so my hopes are still high as I hand her my $10 bill. “You have two cent?” she abruptly replies. “No, I’m sorry, I don’t have any change on me” I respectfully say. Okay, here’s what pisses me off……she then proceeds to give a “pffft” as she shakes her head at me and then proceeds to hand me five dollars and NINETY EIGHT CENTS! Can you fucking beleive that? I mean, WTF!?! The bitch couldn’t have just fronted me the two cents? Is it really gonna break the bank for her to lose out on those two cents? Am I really gonna put out the whole day’s balance on two freaking cents? Jeez, she could have just said ‘hit me up next time you come by’ just like the lovely lady at Mr. Greek does you know? I mean, it’s not like I wouldn’t pay a little extra. In fact, if I’m short one time at Mr. Greek, I usually tip them the next time I come by because of the convenience of their service.

Fuck the Commerce Court Deli. They’re officially on my spit list.

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A Barrie good weekend

10 07 2007


Saturday morning I set off to see my sister who lives in Barrie with her fiance, my nephew and my soon to be godson.  Saturday was a scorcher, it was really humid out, but being locked up in an office all week, I’ll take what I can get.  We set off to the Barrie Brews & BBQ festival to grab some refreshments.  I gotta be honest with you.  For a beach on hot sunny day you’d think there would be some serious lookers out and about.  You’d be wrong.  I don’t know if all the hotties decided to leave town but it was slim pickings out in B town this weekend.  It was still fun all the same.  

Saturday night we decided to grab some wings and quite possibly the best fries I have ever consumed in my life.  We dined on “spicy gar par” fries.  For those of you who aren’t familiar (and if you are I’d probably be a little freaked out) “spicy gar par fries are traditional fries with garlic sauce, hot sauce and Parmesan cheese.  I know it sounds nasty but they’re delicious.  It was like the fries were gently and lovingly bringing my taste buds to a climax with every bite.   After dinner I was feeling a little famished so I decided to get myself a little something to drink.  Midway through my beverage, the conversation that ensued was typical of my life.  It went a little something like this:
“ah, what are you drinking?”my sister asks.  I respond “apple juice”.  “How can you be drinking apple juice when we don’t have apple juice?”.  “Huh?  What do you mean I got it out of your fridge”.   “let me taste it” she says as she lifts the glass to her lips.  “Oh God Kevin, that’s not apple juice!  That’s your Godson’s organic sugar free pear juice  for toddlers!” – after an awkward silence all I could muster up was “oh, well, it’s good anyways”.  I finished my beverage in shame.
Sunday was very humid.  It was overcast all day with the high hitting somewhere in the neighbourhood of 33degrees.  Again we went to the festival.  The family played with the kids while I took refuge under a tree where I caught up on some sleep from staying up and Watching UFC all night.  I guess I was far more tired than I thought.  Maybe it was the mixture of beer and organic sugar free pear juice for toddlers?
Note 




Foot in Mouth Disease

4 07 2007

You know, I really have to watch my mouth.  Lately I’ve been spewing some social vomit.  Today I’m at the coffee machine at work (it’s a US holiday so it’s pretty empty in our office) and this woman who I chat with when I see her from time to time comes over to the machine while I’m there.  Here is our conversation (not verbatim, but as close as it gets):

“Hey Jenny,  were you out partying last night?” she responds with cut eye “no, I’m not feeling well, I’ve been sick.” I follow with “Oh, maybe you’re pregnant” Her eyes widen “I am pregnant!” She proceeds to sob right there in the office as I stand frozen like a deer caught in the headlights. I try to gently respond with “well, do you want to talk about it?”.  “No I don’t want to talk about it, I gotta go” As she walks away with her head down I think to myself….this is not the change you were hoping for the other day, but at least you’re talking to people again!
The prequel

A few days earlier, I’m on the phone with my boss who’s gay.  He doesn’t talk about it, but I’m pretty sure that he knows that I know.  Our conversation went a little something like this (again, not verbatim but as close as it gets):
I say “Hey Frank, I just wanted to touch base with you about Bob.  I can’t believe he wants me to send him that presentation by Wednesday.  Wednesday is a US holiday so he’s off work  and in addition, his meeting isn’t for three weeks!”.  Frank responds “I know he’s being unreasonable, but I think he’s just nervous about presenting in front of all those people.”  I nonchalantly reply “that’s gay”. After a deafening silence while I damn near choke on my words Frank says “gay?  what do you mean that’s gay?”.  “Oh, um, I mean gay you know like silly…..Not that gay people are silly…..but um, you know like how a cigarette is a fag?……Oh shoot, I gotta go Frank….Sally from Accounting is flagging me down.  I’ll call you later, bye!”




Transformers

3 07 2007

Last night I had a great time.  I went to meet up with some friends to go to the  Transformers premiere.  I got there at about 9:45 an hour and fifteen minutes before the movie was set to start. Luckily, Zeus, Poseidon, two of Poseidon’s buddies, Jiri and Danica were already there.  They had gotten there much earlier to save our place at the front of the line baby!  Good thing too because the lineup was redonculous!  The last time I saw so many nerds was for the Star Wars prequil a few years back.  

Anyways, while shooting the shit for an extended period of time the lineup continues to mount and it now extended about 75ft!  Oh, come on…..I start to get impatient that this was taking so long.  What’s the hold up?  It’s 10:45 and they haven’t let us in yet.  The the doors to our theatre part and a sea of geeks in Optimus prime shirts start fluttering out making a mad dash for the lieu or jet out of the theatre all together so they can get home as quickly as possible and blog to the whole world about the movie.  Pffft….losers.  So out of this sea of virgins I see something…is that …. is that a hottie? damn…yeah, that is a hottie….. wait….I know her….that’s …. I want to say Alexis?  Is it Alexis?  Alexis is this girl I went on one date with about 10 years ago.  Damn she looks fine.  Oh fuck, she just caught me staring… quick, turn away, turn away, in case it isn’t her and some random chick thinks I’m some creepy guy.  Is it her?  Does she recognize me?  I think she’s staring at me?  I look out the corner of my eye and yes! Yes she is staring at me!  It must be her.  I turn at her.  Our eyes meet.  I give her a half smile of confirmation…. nothing…..fuck, turn away, turn away! now for sure she thinks I’m creepy.  Shit. You’re such a nerd.  Thank God you’re here to see Transformers with all of the other weenies. Where are your balls man?  Come on.  You NEVER used to be like this………I let out a deep breath.  Okay, this is stupid.  I feel like I’m in high school again.  Why are you getting butterflies over a girl you haven’t seen in 10 years?  You don’t even know her.  Just go over and say hello.   Check for a ring too.
I turned around and she was gone.  I’m such a loser.  
Have I transformed?  Have I become a spineless loser?  Where is that guy who talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere? I used to be so confident I could con myself into doing things I didn’t think was possible.  Now I can’t even approach a girl?  Come to think of it.  There are a lot of things I don’t do anymore.  I don’t take any risks.  Damn, there are so many things at work I would love to do and change but I don’t because I’m afraid to take a risk.  I’m afraid to fail.  I don’t like this complacency.  
Well that’s it.  I don’t want to be this person.  I’m going to change.  I’m going to do more.  I’m going to take more risks.  I’m going to be break my mold.  I vow to never become complacent again…….starting tomorrow.
We’re in the theatre now.  We sit down to watch Transformers.  The theatre goes quiet in anticipation.  Everyone waiting for that first glimpse of our hero Optimus Prime.  Then breaking through the silence someone yells “yay we’re gonna see Harry Potter!”.   The tension is broken and the crown breaks out in laughter.  He he he…very clever.
Fast forward, there will be no spoilers here.  
The movie kicked ass.  I went home.  I went to bed.  I woke up.  I went to work.  I came home. Still complacent.  Oh well.  Tomorrow is another day. 




Hannibal Rising

2 07 2007

Tonight I enjoyed some fine dining at Kelsey’s with Jiri & Danica (not their real names).  While enjoying a wonderful cherry coke but still waiting for my slop, er, meal to arrive, I decided to let them know of my new venture into the blogging world.  I don’t think it was well received. They’re plagued with paranoia that I’ll say something devious and ruffle some feathers with people.  Me?  Mischievous? Mwa ha ha ha ha!

They’re right though.  I really need to watch what I release here.  While I’m not planning on holding back, in the interest of privacy, you’re probably not going to get much dirt on the people I care about.  On the other hand though, what’s the use of having an outlet and then filtering it?  I mean, if I don’t provide anyone with this web address then what harm can come? What are the chances of them finding it?  I’ve taken preventative measures.  I changed my name.  Sort of.  I changed all their names.   Well, changed them enough that the general public won’t know who they are.  I think that’s satisfactory.
Hmmm…..what to do…..
Fuck it.  They may find this blog.  I’ll just create a new one under an alias.




Four times the burn

1 07 2007

I was gitty to say the least.  The new Schick Quattro Power was in my possession and I was going to use it for the first time this morning.  The slogan for razor is ‘for the man who has everything except irritation’ (I’m getting giddier!).

This is the best razor I have ever seen created.  Sleek design.  Ergonomic handle.  Clean colours.  Transfers pulses to help raise the hair.  Has FOUR blades to ensure every hair is cut.  Blade guards to ensure those FOUR blades don’t cut you.  One guard bar and two strips the help lubricate the skin.  Ahhhh….amazing.
I  anxiously clip the blade to the razor, wet my face, lather my face and turn on the pulser.  I start to shave and as the thin layer of shaving cream is swiped gracefully off my face I notice something…….uncut hair.  WTF!?!  This can’t be.   How could such a beautiful piece of machinery do such horrible things to me?  How could my last line of defense against razor burn and 5 o’clock shadow be a dud?
Once I use up these blades I’m never using this useless over priced piece of shit again.
Fuck you Schick.




The begining

1 07 2007

On Friday, fed up with the bias reporting on 680 news I unleashed into a tirade.  I gave a co-worker/friend (who I usually vent to) an earful.  I like to talk to this friend because he’s a great listener he usually provides me with great advice/feedback and it seems that he is always interested in hearing my ‘stories’.  He suggested that I start a blog to as he put it ‘document my day to day life’ so he could keep up with what was going over the weekends/business trips etc.

At first, I laughed at the idea of a blog.  Me? blog?  Hell no.  But then I got to thinking,  it would kinda be nice to share my perspective on things.   It would kinda be nice to keep a log that I could look back on and reminisce on.  And thus begins my journey into the blogging community.
There is something you you need to before reading on.  I exaggerate a little but I’m honest.
There.  I’m done.